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"Good morning Grace, I trust you're well on this lovely day"
* For fucks sake Gary, we have to figure out how to get out of this situation*

"Indeed I am Laura, shopping for your darling husband?"
*I know, I can't take much more of this being a sissy bitch in sleepy suburbia*

"Of course, we're so looking forward to you and Richard coming round for dinner tonight"
*Me too, but it's good we've figured out a way to communicate seeing as our homes, earrings, and even our shoes have bugging devices*

"And we can't wait, I do hope you're making your delicious apple pie"
*Lucky we both know morse code and can tap out what we really want to say using our long painted nails on the handles of these shopping carts, Lenny*

"Of course, you know how much I love to bake for my darling hubby and his guests"
*Remember when they first heard us talking about trying to escape? Fuck me, I never thought I'd sit down again after that slippering!*

"You just have to give me the recipe my dear, oh that reminds me, did you try that new spray starch I told you about?"
*Being blackmailed into being sissy housewives by the Chief Of Police and his favorite Deputy sucks balls*

"Not yet, but I have some here in my cart. I can't wait to spend an hour or two ironing his shirts"
*Talking of sucking balls, guess what my 'ahem' husband made me do this morning for the first time*

"That sounds just darling, I feel the same way when I'm giddy with joy polishing his shoes"
*No fucking way! First time? I've been doing that to my 'husband' since this whole thing started!Usually during Jeopardy after I've brought him a beer on a tray, if I refuse he shocks my chastity cage until I'm a whimpering sack of shit*

"Have you everything you need for making your yummy cookies for the Police Bake Sale"
*Mine doesn't like to move during the football so uses my mouth as a urinal or else it's a leather belt across my ass. I so wanna beer but he won't let me, but I gotta him a case of it, two tubes of lube and a pack of condoms. That should do him until the weekend*

"Indeed I do, my husband is the Chief Of Police and I love to support him in every way I can"
*Weekend? Mine gets through that in a night! The sight of a sissy in silky lingerie and chastity turns him on so bad!*

"What loving and obedient housewife doesn't? My, we are so lucky to have men like that in our lives, Grace. Strong and macho like we girls really need"
*Mine too, these cops are such deviant pervs. Being handcuffed over the dining room table while they fuck us stupid or spank us silly, giving them head every morning dressed as slutty maids or naughty schoolgirls*

"Absolutely Laura, I must say I love what you've done with your hair. Such volume and lift"
*And if we say no they'll turn us over to the Feds in a heartbeat, collect the reward money while we spend the next 50 years behind bars*

"Thankyou sweetie, have you made an appointment for your nails this week? I'm thinking French tips for a change, I do like to always look my best when I'm on my dear hubby's arm"
*Or they'll call Mr Frinks and then it'll be a pair of pliers and a blowtorch used on us during the last agonising hours of our lives*

"I couldn't agree more, I'm so happy and I love my man so much. He's my perfect dream guy"
*Maybe stealing all that dope from a Kingpin and hiding in a small town wasn't a good idea*

"So is mine, well I won't keep you any longer, oh don't forget Sewing Club on Thursday. We're learning how to darn socks this week"
*No shit Gary, but we need to think of a way out of this as my 'hubby' has just bought a huge ball gag and wants me to get real breast implants and not just these stick on tits*

"Ooh, that sounds wonderful, Laura. I'll see you and your darling hubby tonight, toodles"
*Oh fuck, we have to get out of this shithole town.....and soon!*