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Stopsel avatar Stopsel — When Wishful Thinking...
Published: 2011-07-05 23:24:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 265; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 2
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Description I wished for you.

Softly, the floor rose up when I spoke your name
and I wondered briefly how the dimly-lit room
would hold you.

A shiver and a whisper prick the dripping walls
at the out-of-sight corners of my mind where
the dreams come to me in tides and carry away
my ferocity into the night.

I'm fading in and mostly out, turning the tunes
of a fully-restored record with the broken skip-
pings of a tattered receiver.

I wished for you, and in return, all I got to feel
was empty like the hallways hollowly echoing:
some of us aren't meant to have written
happy endings.
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Comments: 17

contemporaryhart [2011-07-09 19:30:09 +0000 UTC]

this has such a lovely feel to it....esp. the first part........i love the way you've made space and light so ONE and united and alive in that part. this stretching of my imagination is kept up in the so perfect way you write 'the out-of-sight' corners of my mind'.......i really like where you go with ideas in this poem.......esp. too with 'fading in and mostly out'......i can feel the waves of emotion in the way you've worded that.

even though the ending is sombre i find it somewhat bittersweet, which is less than sombre for me......just because there's hope alive in the writing, the way you've written it all...ya know?.....

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Stopsel In reply to contemporaryhart [2011-07-11 04:00:48 +0000 UTC]

Yes, thank you so much! Your comment means a lot to me. =J
Thanks for the favorite, too! It is so encouraging to receive such positive feedback. =J

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contemporaryhart In reply to Stopsel [2011-07-11 04:48:44 +0000 UTC]

you've really blossomed in your writing here!...cause I've read your other stuff and I've 'watched' you cause you have 'something'...but this piece is athing!......I'm inspired to look at the outofsight corners of my mind from this.....and the first part,...me having studied architecture, and therefore people, made me feel so ethereal about space and form and its livliness with us.........I'm always truly thankful to come upon such inspired writing!..

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Stopsel In reply to contemporaryhart [2011-07-11 16:50:36 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much for your comments! It's amazing how words can be shaped to bring us 'pictures.' In a way, writing is a little like architecture... I consider words my "building blocks." =J It's great that you have studied it, and I am so thankful for what you have shared with me!

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contemporaryhart In reply to Stopsel [2011-07-12 00:52:52 +0000 UTC]

you're most welcome!.......and i like that you describe words as building blocks...that's actually helpful to me...as writing interests me strongly yet frustratingly, cause up till now, all i've found myself with is a bunch of wonderful blocks, that i can shape and sand and carve, but with no idea what to build with them as a team or unit!!......so, as i think of architecture and function, and form, i realize intention with writing is similar to intention in design of buildings and structures?...as in, what idea will my blocks embrace or inspire?...what body of thought am i looking to span or encompass?..or so it seems to be clicking as such now!..

great chatting with ya!..

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Stopsel In reply to contemporaryhart [2011-07-15 01:46:10 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! You too! =J

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pagan-poetess [2011-07-07 20:29:54 +0000 UTC]

this is absolutely beautiful!

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Stopsel In reply to pagan-poetess [2011-07-08 03:37:50 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! That means a lot to me. =J
Thanks for adding it to your favorites, too! ♥

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pagan-poetess In reply to Stopsel [2011-07-08 23:13:14 +0000 UTC]

you're so welcome!!

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BrandedbyWolves [2011-07-07 00:26:56 +0000 UTC]

Great writing, your words created a picture in my head . Good job

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Stopsel In reply to BrandedbyWolves [2011-07-07 02:47:25 +0000 UTC]

Oh, thank you so much for the encouragement! And thank you for the fave. =J

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BrandedbyWolves In reply to Stopsel [2011-07-08 20:43:17 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome

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Legisleitor [2011-07-06 21:23:48 +0000 UTC]

your inspiration have traveled across the universe and arrived to my computer and to my brain... The day is better when I meet something beautiful to keep on my retinas

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Stopsel In reply to Legisleitor [2011-07-07 02:47:49 +0000 UTC]

Awww =J
Thank you so much! You are very sweet.

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Legisleitor In reply to Stopsel [2011-07-07 21:22:29 +0000 UTC]

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elisava [2011-07-06 02:06:05 +0000 UTC]

Hidden by Admin

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Stopsel In reply to elisava [2011-07-06 07:55:13 +0000 UTC]

Aww, yay! I'm so glad you could read it. =J

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