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Published: 2006-08-21 02:11:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 257; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 5
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Description
On days like this, the wind will rasp like a parched patronAnd the walls of the cafes of Little Italy will sweat
With beads following the grain of the maple down to the
Almost-cool tile of the floor
She couldn't have noticed me:
Her body, a series of ageless curves,
Was preoccupied down to her shoes (which were strappy black love-me's with heels like mesas)
And I remember, as would a photograph, how her lips were curved around
The seductive shape of a cured heart, and if to say,
"You."
Wrapped around freckled red, with glossy satin maroon doubling effects from
The sunlight in the window, you could
Catch the hint of
Pearls, sheens of freshwater, wink behind those lips before
Sinking, disappearing, in seeded skin
I lost myself in dirty dreams,
An anticipation of what was yet to come,
Whether it was myself
Or her hand grasping for more delights
To tantalise the tastebuds of she
And the fantasies of everybody who surrounded her
All of our heartbeats in unison
In Little Italy
I couldn't help but be nothing less than entranced
As the strawberry's slow dance continued
Past the perfect housing of her lips;
A trail of almost-red juice
Started a slow journey from
(almost) the corner of her mouth towards her chin
To leave a sticky sweet legacy for her
Tongue to catch later
That strawberry could have been me
Or at the very least it should have been
A man, flesh and bone with no fruit, leaving a look of dissatisfaction
Scribbled across her face,
As the last bite was the taste
That only just got her started
To displace her grace
And replace this princess with nothing more than an
Eve in a garden of serpents
On days like this, the world begs for sin
But bedroom fantasies fell behind
A cafe in mid-July, and a girl
Eating a
Strawberry
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Comments: 18
Lavit [2006-10-09 17:49:09 +0000 UTC]
I love the rhythm you caught, though I think I should read it again....
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gutterbreed In reply to Lavit [2006-10-12 05:35:53 +0000 UTC]
yes, the way this one moves is very interesting. i'm not used to it.
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ashellessmind [2006-08-31 19:59:12 +0000 UTC]
This is a wonderful description.
I love women and I love strawberries; I see no flaw.
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gutterbreed In reply to ashellessmind [2006-09-07 05:08:23 +0000 UTC]
they're both marvelous things to behold in this world.
but i get women more than strawberries. there's a lack of strawberries in my life. yarr!
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ashellessmind In reply to gutterbreed [2006-09-08 12:34:33 +0000 UTC]
Hah. The beauty in this statement is that I have no idea how serious you are.
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yekdorb [2006-08-26 06:24:09 +0000 UTC]
colloborations seem like they'd be a headache, but you two did a good job.
i like the description of the girl, how distinct the two worlds areβher, oblivious, sitting and enjoying her strawberries, and the voice of the narrator longing from a distance.
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gutterbreed In reply to yekdorb [2006-08-26 06:27:36 +0000 UTC]
you're right, they generally are, but geldie's a really easy and great person to work with. and it was part of the competition criteria, so i'm glad it was him i got to write with.
i don't write much anymore...somebody should bitch me out for being lazy
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yekdorb In reply to gutterbreed [2006-08-26 06:32:41 +0000 UTC]
stop being so lazy. you've got a rabid pack of fans eager for more poems. so hurry up and write something astounding.
:/
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gutterbreed In reply to yekdorb [2006-08-26 06:41:54 +0000 UTC]
that's the motivation i needed! haha!
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Fluid-Motion [2006-08-25 08:04:27 +0000 UTC]
well done. god damned if I've read better semi erotic poetry. the descritions were sensual. I think this could be cropped and tightened in places but, good work.
it would be itneresting to see the stages of a collaboration like this.
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gutterbreed In reply to Fluid-Motion [2006-08-25 08:43:40 +0000 UTC]
perhaps i should post our series of notes and how we got around to it? i dunno. it'd probably be a scrap if i did.
i'm glad you liked it though - i wasn't sure what i was aiming for at first, the whole thing started as a joke (writing about girls and strawberries) but quickly turned into something serious - i'm glad it did!
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Suiish [2006-08-21 22:12:17 +0000 UTC]
Awesome job to the both of you - i love it when reading poems [ whioch to be truthful is rare][ they do not always rhyme with the simple 2 lines last word rhyme.. that frmat gets tedious.. to me.. but this str5uck up some awesome imagery in my mind and i really enjoyed it///
Congrats and i wish you both luck!!! <333
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gutterbreed In reply to Suiish [2006-08-23 10:42:39 +0000 UTC]
thank you! i have my fingers crossed
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maskedpianist [2006-08-21 14:26:57 +0000 UTC]
God! Another great poem! You, and from what you say, Geldie, write really, really well! I love it. Absolutely love it.
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gutterbreed In reply to maskedpianist [2006-08-21 21:46:31 +0000 UTC]
he's marvelous! go check out his gallery!
and thank you
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GeldTheNudist [2006-08-21 04:12:15 +0000 UTC]
you lie! hahaha
it was a lot of fun, we may have to try again... you know, when you like come back to do some writing and stuff. i wonder how we'll go?
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gutterbreed In reply to GeldTheNudist [2006-08-21 05:49:38 +0000 UTC]
oh, we will - i'll be having to do poetry for one of my classes once the semester starts, so i'll be writing like a fiend come school and we'll totally do another one!
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GeldTheNudist In reply to gutterbreed [2006-08-21 09:51:52 +0000 UTC]
maaaaaaaad!
i look forward to it
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