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Wimpe [2013-09-24 16:07:39 +0000 UTC]

"I do declare, Barbara Jean, you got both a' them poor ole' puny pink-pantied prissy pansies just a wigglin' and a wrigglin' and a twitchin' just like those old live-bait inchworms (which kinda looks like what choo got a' squirmin' inside their cuter-than-cute lil' pink "lunchboxes") that daddy and Uncle Joe and grandpa used to bait their cane-pole hooks with back down on the creek just around the bend back behind the farmhouse.  Those were fun times, little sis.  And even way back then you always did know how to handle men, just like now.  Ooh boy, you sure do got these boys 'a moanin and a' groanin, even jumpin' like a trout on a line, tryin' to spit out the hook.  You shore haven't lost yore magic touch, Barbara Jean.  No ma'am, my baby sister sure enough hasn't."

"Hey, it's not rocket science, Sue Ellen.  Shoot, what with all the shampooing, conditioning, trimming, parting, sectioning, braiding, hair-roller-setting, layering, backcombing, teasing, and brush-outs that you do at your cosmetologist's job in Esmerelda's salon, I'm betting that your hands, wrists, and fingers have enough raw strength, nimbleness, dexterity, long endurance, and superior coordination that with just a little bit of the right kind of practice, you too could get these boys a-bawlin' like babies, a-baying like hound dogs, and-a-beggin' like a virgin on his wedding night.  Shoot, I bet that pretty soon, once you learn to read men - I mean REALLY read men - plus learn the art of leg-shakin for these tinies, you too could string these poor pups along like Stradivarius stringing his violin, and maybe even better 'n me, which is very, very good indeed."

"Can you teach me, Barbara Jean?  I always wanted to learn, just never had the gumption to come right out and ask ya, that's all."

"Sure, Sue Ellen. Ha ha, I always thought my older big sis was way too much of a goody two-shoes for sumpin' like this.  Guess I was wrong.  Okay, take the one nearest you, pick the poor feller up, ad set him down a-straddlin' yore thigh, then watch what I dew to mine.  Now remember, I heard you kinda pokin' fun at their tininess and wimpiness and sissiness earlier, which is just fine - yew didn't do it too much - but remember that tinies have feelins' too, even when ya' got 'em a moanin' like a Grizzly Bear comin' outta his hibernation cave."

"Barbara Jean, when did my little sis ever git so dadgummed smart?" 

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