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ghostsofyou — Exhaled Disillusionment
Published: 2005-11-19 23:35:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 88; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description
Detached TempermentPouring through stitched-up lungs
Condensed arteries
Failing Vision
Fascinate
Passionate constancy
Denial of reality
If your hands were to fracture...
Stop.
Another exhaled disillusionment
Me with face to the ground rebounded soul
Too far beneath the surface to assume it’s existence
Validate remorse
Dislocated sanity under blue cellophane skies
And you
Facing imprisonment to calculated living
Closed doors
Pounding. Scraping at hinges.
(All under your breath)
Parallel
Faltering directions yet corresponding destination
Ten steps backwards and
Fall
Hands tightly clasped over contentious jaws
Fingers tracing unseen outlines
Permanent compliance
Uncertainty an undefined quality
Gratitude with every rhythm of once-empty hearts
Now enveloped in divine collision
She has her reasons.
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Comments: 3
Dislocated sanity under blue cellophane skies
Love that line. Shrink wrapped madness!
I really really liked the end as well!
Good poem.
If any improvements, perhaps slightly less disjointed? Give it some form of theme. I've only really started theming mine recently but yah, very very good
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thanks so much!
shrink wrapped madness. that's brilliant.
and yeah. some of the lines are a little out of place/disconnected. i'll try to fit them in better if i find some inspiration. it follows a theme, but probably more in my head than on the page.
thanks again for the comment.
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