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Digidrama — I Let You Have All The Power
Published: 2008-06-25 02:21:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 1875; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 0
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Description
addiction: starving myself of life.my story: [link]
It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
- Kelly Clarkson- Addicted
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Comments: 21
well, I recently relapsed from the past recovery- but I am once again in recovery- so we'll see how it goes this time
and thank you very much
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thank you sooo much.
These pieces are very personal, and I love seeing how far I've come from that time.
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I don't think I'm getting to that point at all, though I do/am starting to think there's something wrong mentally with me, for I'll go for a day eating nothing but one meal, even though I'll be hungry, thinking I'll put on too much weight, but it's just mental for me, and I know I need to get over it and get better so I won't get to the point of anorexia, though I'm very far from there... I believe.
The pic is very powerful.
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there is no "point of anorexia" really. It's either- you're afflicted by the mental obsessions/compulsions/distractions or you're not...
I think of it like cancer. Even when I thought I would never relapse into the disorder again, I fell into 7 years later. I consider that "7 years of liberation" as a remission, you know?
The cancer came back.
I'm in chemo right now, technically (recovery) 
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Very courageous of you to share this with us all.
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thanks so much
I will- trust me I will
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you will.
you have to fight, you have to win. and you will win.
belive me, i know it.
i've seen your story, it's like jump into my past years... and it hurts so much... (here the only memory i have [link] )
i don't know you, but i'm still here to say that you're strong enough to break this nightmare.
I was recovered the whole last summer, it was the hardest period of my life.
But finally i'm here.
i'm still here. And i'm ok, i'm good, i'm better, i'm living my life.
Fight my dear, never give up, 'cause you deserve a better life.
And you will have it, i'm sure.
a big, big and strong hug.
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it's such a blow sometimes because I thought I had overcome it back in 7th grade... but no, 6 years later "knock knock knock"
and now I'm fighting to live my life how it used to be... happy, and full of artistic exploration
thank you sooo much for the hug- and the support.
Your deviation speaks soo much to me as well... sadly, I wish it didn't... I wish I didn't understand the pain...
I wish the pain didn't exist for anyone!
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i'm still here supporting you! just watched your video. i am glad you are so honest with yourself and everyone else. school has been out for a while now, are you getting help like you said you would? you're incredibly talented and we need you around! hugs.
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actually- I've been getting help. I was going to go to the Renfrew center, but many insurance companies don't cover in-patient residential help for people with ED's (i forget why... but it is really expensive). today I'm going to see an art therapist for the first time!!! I'm reeeeally excited because I, myself, have been thinking about becoming an art therapist... plus, even with getting the therapy... I love art!
I gained about 15lbs- and then lost another 10, but overall- mentally I feel I am getting better. Recovery is soooooooooooo much harder than the actual disorder- which is a big reason why it is such a tough disorder to overcome.
With time I can do this- I just have to do a lot of fighting with myself.
Thanks soo much for the support!!
(p.s. that painting I bought from you is hanging up right behind me, here at my computer 
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