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CAPTAIN-CAPSLOCK-PHD β A Bitter Rant Revisited
by-nc-nd
Published: 2013-04-19 18:40:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 3246; Favourites: 28; Downloads: 8
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Yeah, this might rustle some jimmies.But anyone who can post erotica based on sexual and psychological abuse and not be able to handle getting spoken to eye-to-eye isn't a stable person.
Also, I'm being extremely careful to not be insulting to anyone. At no point do I tell people what they should and shouldn't do. Any comments claiming that I'm doing that are moot.
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Comments: 102
THANK YOU.
Ive always HATED this trope. And putting aside the fact that it's morally wrong, wouldn't it actually be sexier if BOTH characters are into it?
oh, and don't even get me started on "shotacon."
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Whoever enjoys this shit has the exact same erotic desires as a sexual predator and they should be ashamed of themselves.Β
I hate that the most common defense of this trope is "But it's just fiction, it's not hurting anyone really!"
WELL GOODNESS ME FINE LAW ABIDING CITIZEN WHO I AM COMFORTABLE SHARING A ROOM WITH YOU GO BACK TO YOUR PERFECTLY NON-CREEPY AND CLEARLY HEALTHY MINDSET AND HAVE YOURSELF A LOVELY DAYΒ
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umm... is being straight bad now or something? I missed that particular memo.
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What? Where on earth did you get THAT?
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you seem to post a lot of material about straight people being confusing, in this particular one in my mind you're calling straight people perverts.
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It's true that I think that there are aspects of heterosexual life that is unnecessarily confusing, and that by shedding light on those aspects maybe folks can rethink their reasons for making life harder than it needs to be.
I make it pretty clear in the comic that I'm pointing to people who are turned on by homosexual rape, and certainly not all straight people are aroused by that. Sam Keith (who I quoted in this comic) is straight and is MUCH more vocal about the sexualization of rape than I am.
Where do you get the idea that I'm using blanket statements against all of heterosexuality in this comic?
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Yeah, my bad. I just am in a bad mood I guess. Sorry I feel guilty now for generalizing. You're right anyhow. Its disgusting how people use that abusive materials as over-the-top "BDSM" pornography. Sorry.
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That's okay, buddy
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very powerful and insightful.Β
The message is disturbing, but powerful. ITs wonderfully made. It makes the point clear, and it gives a different persecutive.Β
No offense either, but your character in the panels are adorable.
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Thank you
The Bitter Rant comics helped me out a lot with my PTSD recovery and I'm glad I was able to work out my feelings while making a point.
Ha, thanks.
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I have ptsd as well from my homophobic family.
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I'm sorry, palΒ
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I read an in-depth discussion by real BDSM practitioners and club owners who absolutely do not tolerate people who think abuse is the same thing as what they promote. I've heard stories of both wannabe abusers and the people who want to be abused being thrown out of the clubs and not allowed to return. They have no patience for that bullshit and that makes me happy.
I still have zero interest in participating myself, but I'm happy to see the REAL BDSM crown taking a stand against people like hamletmachine and the 50 sades of grey crowd who hide behind the "You don't understand BDSM!" argument. They are nothing but mentally ill and have no understanding of what you pretend to be a part of.
I've actually been making a great deal of progress as of late. I still don't have a therapist (no health care coverage for it) but I'm now able to confront the things that used to give me panic attacks with cautious discussion.
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No, I don't know exactly where I heard it. The source eludes me.
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THIS is the reason I've created a seperation for gay ships! I've split it into two groups, Yaoi/Yuri vs. Slash/Femslash.
For the Yaoi (which is actually a combination of a five word phrase that means in basics "Porn with no Plot"), I put the rape relationships and the annoying Seme/Uke item that tears a character's personality apart, that fans seem to love...
Slash (which came original from the decade-famous Kirk/Spock) I put the pairings where both of the characters keep most origional personality, just minor twekking for the romance part. Plus, this is where I group hugging, kissing, handhold, ect.
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Thank you for noting the distinction.
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I still find it funny barely any yaoi fangirls know the real mean of that word! XD
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Thank you so much you just made my day
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Wow.
Very cleansing to read.
You are capable of more laser-guided criticism than I had thought.
Impressive.
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I get and understand your pov, but I also want to remind you that often rape survivors end up having rape fantasies themselves. This could be how their brain treats the trauma, but I can't really say. Take me for example, I don't find actual rape to be romantic or good, however, the fantasy - where I have the actual control of the situation, because it's a fantasy - can be extremely exciting. And I didn't even experience getting fully raped or even remember it (unconcious). So I imagine this phenomenon could be stronger with other victims.
The fantasy of it can let a victim gain back control of a traumatic experience. I've never had vengeance fantasies. But I'm a submissive, not a dominant when it comes to sex, so I can't speak for their behalf. And I honestly, when seeing these scenarios mentally put myself in the victims shoes, rarely in the abuser.
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I think you're spot on: When I was in a bad relationship with an abusive/ domineering guy, I *loved* yaoi and daydreaming about male on male sex (though to be fair, mine very specifically focussed on the jerk I was dating getting put in the position he'd put me in). Once I got out of that, took some time to deal with the repercussions, and found a healthy relationship, my desire to think or read about that sort of thing faded away.
Also, having been raped, I would *never* wish to put someone else in that position, real or fantasy.
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I admit that I don't ever like pain involved in sex except for when I am profoundly pissed off of my rocker. Then again, I don't really "like" it, then, either. When I write suffering characters, it's usually an outlet for my own loneliness and discontent, and, uh, mental anguish I guess, but I don't make characters experience fucking rape on a normal basis. No, when I do, it's a shattering point, not something to fap to. I have never been touched that way -- ... that I remember ... -- but I have the good god damn sense of mind to comprehend how severe that is. There is only one pair of original characters I've ever created where one is a masochist, and it freaks out their partner every once in awhile. Hell, even another character of mine, named Vince, is a little disinclined towards women because he feels like they taunt him for even daring to look at them slightly appreciatively ( which a lot of them do so outright ), but he isn't psychotic like whatever-his-face in that comic of yours. He's technically bisexual, but he leans toward men more often than not because they're not quite as picky. I just ... I get that the relationship in SF is consensual, but WHY WOULD YOU CONSENT TO THAT?
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I'll tell you why someone would consent to that - deep internal insecurity and self-hatred.
For me, it came from being told by my parents while growing up that I was "incompetent", "pathetic", and "can't do anything on your own without failing". I was little and unstable, convinced I was stupid and needed someone to lead me around because anything I touched would be destroyed.
Now, imagine a psychological predator finding someone like that. He can use the same tactics the parents used to torment and control someone as his own personal plaything, and the victim is so confused and vulnerable that he/she thinks this is how it will always be, because it always was.
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This is all true and I've seen examples of it in day-to-day life ... but what about those people who say it's a fetish, and they deliberately go to more obscure bars wanting to be belittled? They're perfectly cool about it, like, "it's a fetish, fuck you," and I just ... feel torn. They make it seem so normal and believable that way, on the other hand, when you're in a hotel room being gagged and whipped to your heart's desire, the person in the room next to you is emotionally scarring somebody.
My family didn't use those words exactly -- they just called me an idiot, a twit, and asked me why I couldn't, "do shit right," or, "ever fucking listen."
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Having physical abuse as a fetish for sexual arousal is one thing, but being controlled and abused psychologically is entirely different.
The most 'successful' abusers learn a pattern that develops with their victim's brain chemistry - hurt them, wait for the pain to sink in, then become comforting. The victim will think he or she is being 'rescued' from the pain, and the brain begins to associate the relief with the abuser rather than the pain. That's one of the main reasons people stay with the abuser.
Well, it's why I stayed, at least.
I am so sorry your family treated you like that. No kid should EVER have to hear that - especially from their caregivers.
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Now that I think about it, my dad used to do that to me. Then, he went to a therapy session -- only once -- and things started getting better. I think I was twelve or thirteen. He would yell at me and maybe smack me across the head, and then later come back and apologize. Then, I'd piss him off again, and it would keep going like that. Don't ever tell him he was ever abusive, though. He'll argue til his face is blue, and if that doesn't work, til his knuckles are bloody.
It was my autism. Autistic kids are infamous for being annoying and infuriating. I was a textbook example, and my dad always thought I was deliberately getting on his nerves. Most of the insults and yelling came from him.
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I am so, so sorry.
He sounds like a deeply unstable person who expects the kids to support the parents.
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He also likes to endlessly make sexual jokes that discomfort me.
I dunno why I'm telling you all these things. I started out attempting to have a serious discussion but now it's just me pouring out my thoughts. You seem to listen to everybody, though, with appropriate sympathy. I can't thank you enough, dude.
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Jesus.. yeah, if I were you I would stay away from him when I could. But then again it's up to you. Just sorry to hear this is your situation.
No problem, buddy. Sometimes the best thing a person can do is listen with an open heart. No judgements or belittling, just listening and empathy. God knows I wish I had someone to listen me when I needed it.
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I'm sixteen, and still a minor, with literally nowhere else to go. Relatives are either douchebags who'd sell me out, or living in a different state; and my mom's in Mexico / southern California ( has to cross the Border every morning, just to get to her American job ) ... no real-life friends, at least none close enough to ask for shelter. / shrug. I'm seventeen next month, and after that it's just waiting for my next birthday ...
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It's okay to form a callous on your heart - a little cynicism can keep you protected from terrible things and also make you wiser to your surroundings.
However, it's easy to get too thick of a callous and then life becomes ugly and meaningless.
I think you're already plenty self-aware to keep the latter from happening, just based on the comments you've left on my account. I trust you'll be fine, but I would still ask you to please be careful and keep it at a healthy balance.
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Heh, I should've replied to this sooner, maybe my sobbing breakdown yesterday morning wouldn't have happened, and my dad wouldn't have mocked me for it and mimed a baby crying tears as I stood there smashing my own hairbrush against the wall until it was rendered unusable. Now I have no hairbrush. You are absolutely right and I do not know what to do with myself. Thank you so much though, for saying I might just be a little wiser than everyone around me scoffs and says I most certainly am not. The social worker at my school tells me I play games and that I'm ungrateful for what they do for me. I think I've gone against your advice already. I keep searching for ways to lessen that callous and it only works briefly until someone comes along and scrapes that knee again. It's a cycle, but I'm not dead yet, and hopefully it won't worsen between now and my eighteenth birthday. Thanks again. No, I mean it, if there wasn't evidence of intelligence like your comics I'd never find an outlet to relate to. I don't know how I managed before I found the Internet. I think I hid under tables and pretended to be a cat.
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I outright admit that I'm an offender of this, enjoying the imagery and idea of a BDSM relationship because of my own unmet needs.
I think this confession pretty much proves that you're right lol
but it's not a conscious decision like 'oh lets mind rape some little shota' I can't help what I find is sexy, it just happens to be that way
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See, at least you admit it. At least YOU are honest about your desires.
If you had reacted the way 99.99% of abuse fans react, you would have called me a Nazi Christian prude (I'm none of these, btw) and told me to go fuck myself.
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I dunno, I mean I'm not consciously cruel to other people despite the horrible things I can find amusing in my mind. You'll be surprised how many quiet seemingly sane people have such thoughts, though the line between schadenfreude and outright sadism can be hard to define - especially to yourself and it's not a topic many like to discuss or admit to wanting to discuss.
I'm still iffy about the whole 'this is the gateway to serial killing' thing, because that's a very convoluted subject.
From personal experience, my BDSM fantasies don't revolve around revenge or justification - only around the fact that life isn't fair and the helplessness that comes with realizing that fact.
When it comes to revenge fantasies... those bring no satisfaction to me personally, only a sour taste in the mouth and feeling empty.
The appeal to most 'rape' scenarios when it comes to fanfiction and fanart is the feeling of helplessness and cruelty. Because the character doesn't deserve it.
It's a way to make the writer feel the right to be angry and unjustified about life - because they are a victim and didn't do anything wrong to receive any sort of negative treatment - sexual or otherwise.
mind you I'm only speaking on my opinion, I'm sure there are some people that fit your assumptions too.
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I don't think that drawing repulsive things and expressing them as "good" is a gateway to serial killer behavior, either, but is IS a sign of something wrong going on in that person's life that needs to be addressed.
You bring up many good points - like how the writer can be projecting into the victim rather than the violator. It depends on the tone and order of events.
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You've pretty much hit the nail on the head here. One of the things that has always annoyed me about SF and it's ilk is that there's no self-awareness, they don't understand what they are saying. And you've touched on the other problem with these things as well, the cesspool of a fanbase they seem to attract.
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Wouldn't it be great if there was an erotic stories where they actively talked about these things?
Oh wait, there are! They're called Wendel, Omaha the Cat Dancer, My Beast, and Complex.
But of COURSE those don't have big fanbases.
(Complex is fucking AMAZING, btw)
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I've read a bit of it so far, it's got me interested.
I know I've said this a lot, but I wouldn't mind any of this (well okay I would, but my hatred wouldn't be so strong) if there was a sign of them being self-aware. I'm not saying everything has to be doom or gloom, but that writers of romance as a whole need to...I don't know.
Understand what counts as abuse, constent and the messages they send. As someone who wants to be a writer it bothers me that these people don't seem to know what they are saying, indirecting or not. It's like if Ender's Game were written by stupid hormonal twats, who were blind to what they were saying!
As a person it bothers me that none of them even seem to get what the fuck they are doing. They don't seem to get that both men and women can be raped, that emotional abuse is abuse and just how fucking serious it is.
I rant here and I'm preaching to the choirI know. But every time I've tried to bring up this issue with fans of this stuff, I get blank stares and told 'it's not like that'. And don't even get me started on how those morons treat female character.
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I'm sure you've noticed how most of these stories have no female characters at all.
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That and whenever they do have female characters, often they act as nothing more than clingy and jealous obsletes. They're viewed and shown as either insane shippers or complete bitches, not really people so much as cutouts.
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It shows their own hatred for other women, doesn't it?
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Agreed, as if any more evidence of that was needed.
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There is a big difference of actually doing something and fantasy. It is important to distinguish. Saying an artist who draws rape, is a monster, is like saying people who play nazi in a videogame, is a nazi in real life. I don't mind people writing/drawing fucked up stuff, as long as it is just a fantasy, that they have *no* intent of bringing out in real life.
....I think Sam keith does an excellent job of explaining why MEN might like the rape fantasy, but not necessarily why women does....
I sometimes imagine what it would be like to, for example, have a threesome, but i also know that it is just a romantic reflection of something that really is anything but romantic; i think in real life it would be akward, not great since at least one of them would not know me or my sexual preferences, and waaay out of my comfort zone.
About the rape - I think it is disgusting, even to hear about or see in movies, but i still understand that some women, in particular, think it is romantic to think that a guy "just wants them so badly they have to assult them"? Even though, that is not how it goes in real life. Rapists are sick, distorted people who actually think the woman/kid wanted to have sex with him, or just wanted to humiliate them. Or in some eastern countries like India, just is plain horny/wants to force a woman into marrying him.
I think to some, it might be a kind of release (mental satisfaction, if you will) to draw/write about such stuff. But I totally agree that noone should insult abused people, or take them any less seriously. That being said, I do worry about that the seemingly high amount of women who thinks the rape-fantasy is erotic. I fear men will mistake it for a "real fantasy". Btw. where are those women? I have never met a woman who think it is anything but disgusting, but I see them in statistics.
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*raises hand* 'sup..
I'm right here, where the rest of us are... dunno. I find rape disgusting, sure. Rape-fantasy is a different matter all-together though.
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As I wrote in the beginning of the way too long text 
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