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AztecTemplar β Love In Rainbows
Published: 2011-11-09 04:24:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 480; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 3
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Description
Broken hearts raining downSplasing down, breaking shards
Upon myΒ Β umbrella of feelings
Torn holes let the drip through
The shards cut throguh my soul
Be my jacket of hearts
Protect me from their hurt
When windy chills abound
Keep me warm within your embrace
Let me keep my treasure in your pockets
Safeguard these secrets, this soul, this love
Your love saves me from a hypothermia of broken hearts
After the storm passes
A hurricane of destruction
I know I'llbe safe with you
Torn roofs, torn lives
Yet my love is yours and safe
While the world spins down in terror
I know you and I will be looking at the rainbow
And when life bombards you
With world wars of hurt and deceit
And bombs of frustreeations and tears
I'll be your bunker, your safeguard
Dearest, heart
I'll be the symbol of peace and life
Embedded in your heart eternally
My love will protect you forever
So we can enjoy life together
While storms rage
And continents declare war
We'll be blissfully warm under it all
Under shelters of our love
And umbrellas of our hearts
Enjoying the calm, where rainbows abound.
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Comments: 38
your voice and your writing style is so elegent and beautiful-I love it.
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aWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW hehehehe thank you sooo very much!!!
That's so sweet! ty very much!! Im glad you liked it!! :3
hehehe means alot to me
And ty so much for the fave!
u rock!
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you're so welcome-you rock too.
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OMG really?!?!
hehehe YAYAYAY!!! thank youuuu hehehehe I really appreciate it!! 
hehe Im so happy you like it so much! It means alot to me buddy <3333
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Awww hehe thank u so much!!! hehehe.
Hope it conveys the power of romance hahaha
ty!!!!
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you're welcome, it does
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This is lovely. There are some very good ideas in it.
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awww haha thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Glad u liked it!!!
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Cute. Some of it seems a bit rough though.
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Aww ty!
ROUGH...grrrrrrrrr
HOW?!?!?!
So my quality is worse now?! ugh..fml
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Partly because of the misspells. Makes me slow down to read it. LOL But like for this line "Torn holes let the drip through". The 'the' in that sentence makes it very choppy... could be because its followed by a singular noun 'drip'. Changing drip to drops or the to 'a' would change that.
"After the storm passes,
A hurricane of destruction
I know I'llbe safe with you" I would put another comma after destruction, since when you read a poem most pauses are in the punctuation. So it reads like:
"After the storm passes,
PAUSE
A hurricane of destruction I know I'llbe safe with you". E.E. Cummings didn't follow this rule, but he made up for it by spreading his words out to create the same pauses. LOL
Just a few minor things really. I think you might have been too excited or in a rush to type it up to pay attention to those things is all. ^^
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I am not changing the drip thing because that is how I intended it. Ty though.
I shall keep that in mind as reference for future poems.
The comma thing, haha, that's my bad, I usually either type it with commas at the end of every line, or type em without any punctuation at the end save for exclamation, question or final points. So that was my bad, I'll fix it.
Ty very much buddy :3
<3
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No problem. That's the difficult thing with poems and poets, because poetry doesn't have that many rules and you can get away with playing with your words far more then any other sort of literature. ^^
I enjoy helping whenever I can. ^^
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Hahaha so true.
i always listen to the advice, and I had to think that one a bit. But I think it sounds and means as I intended it too, even if sometimes it sounds weird, the meaning is what I had in mind, so I'll leave it :3
But so very true.
hehehe
I appreciate it always <3
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Good. Cuz my advice doesn't always come for free. Just count yourself lucky that I like you. LMAO!
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hahaha Oh I know I am blessed to have ya as my buddy and u like me silly hahaha XD
I never take that for granted XD
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LMAO! Good. Cuz I'm not getting rich being nice. LOL.
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hahahhahahha silly XD
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Lol. I know. Maybe I should try making money off of being silly?
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hahahaha ud win lotsss lmaooo
Though according to u, Im the silly one hhahaha
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This is true... I should not have any competition... Wonder if I can find some hired gun... ... Oops... Did I say that out loud?
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hahahahahahahahahaha
XD
Oh you silly hahahahahahaha
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I think this proves I'm the more silly one then. LOL
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hahaha does it? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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Lol. Uhoh... You are thinking... Scary things happen when you think...
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lmao...either scary or poetic wonder which one itll be lmao
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Or both! There are such things as scary poems!
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hahahha true true...as my Blood Candy poem showed haha ppl were frikkin out lmao
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hahaha thank u so much man!!!
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hahahaha awww buddy hehe silly tyyyy!!! :3
mah gf will get mad at u though lmaooo hahaha
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