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Jacob The Guardsman — Description

"...Another goddamned day, guarding this goddamn door. Day out and day in I guard a door nobody enters nor exits, just in case somebody one day decides to actually enter or exit. Everyday, eight days a week. Just so that I could bring Hiola to The Golden Fork some day. But then again, when would I have time to do that, guarding this goddamn door, every goddamn day."

Jacob
Guard at the Miss Minchen's Museum of Unnecesary Things