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Don't make me choose... — Description

Lahara stormed through, crouching beside me and holding my cheek. My heart jittered. I tried to turn aside, but Lahara kept her grip, forcing me to look into her eyes.
“Why are you sulking in the rain? Did the tailor…” A quip was on her lips, but when she saw my tears, she cut herself short. “Goddess’s ass, what happened?”
I could only shake my head, a tremor wracking my body. Lahara pulled me to her chest, and I crumpled into her. She rested her cheek on my head, stroking my back, and that was enough to break what remained of the dam. Eyes streaming, I sobbed into her, holding tight. I didn’t want to think anymore. All I wanted was her warmth, her scent, her closeness. Something to pull out the stake between my ribs that refused to stop bleeding. The horse brooch dug into my breast, and I wanted so much to rip it off and throw it into a drain, but it didn’t matter. The Talons would find me one way or another. And this, it didn’t matter how much I wanted it. Even if I pursued it with all my being…
I couldn’t choose.
Goddess please don’t make me choose…
(excerpt from chapter 24 of my novel, The Sorceror's Lament)