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Lunar Lessons — Description
Cosmos lay curled like a house cat within a moon crater, dozing. She felt at peace, for the first time in eons.

It was true, for the first decade of her lunar imprisonment, she had rioted, she had despaired, she had carved cusswords into the surface of the moon, in the hopes Luna or the ponies would see them in the night sky. But after years of throwing a childish tantrum, she had finally come to appreciate the stillness. The moon offered her privacy, isolation from the wretched, saccharine little equines, and best of all, silence.

Quite suddenly, an explosion ripped through the air. Something- what looked to be a flaming pink comet- had abruptly collided with the moon, throwing up a cloud of dust and flying moon rocks. Cosmos sighed irritably, tugging a boulder over her head like a pillow. Perhaps if she ignored it, it would go away.

Pandora had misjudged her jump and splattered against the moon's surface like a bug on a windshield. With effort, she managed to pry herself up from her draconequus-shaped impact crater. "Owie." She staggered to her hooves, pausing to hack up the remains of Luna's rock garden. "Granny Coco? You around?"

With a snarl loud enough to shake space-time, Cosmos appeared before her, cobra hood flared in fury. "Impudent child." Cosmos spat. "I have told you time after time, you are never to refer to me so impertinently. I am only 11.2 aeons old. Hardly ancient enough to be somebody's 'granny'."

"Sorry, granny." Pan didn't even have the courtesy to look sheepish. "Say, did you do the homework? I'm kinda stumped."

Cosmos batted her tail sourly. "Who does your mother think she is, assigning me homework? I, the spirit of Malice? I, who have existed petaseconds before the stars that produced the carbon that makes up that empty pile of mush-matter she calls a brain?"

"Mom says it could really help with your reformation!" Pan said brightly. "You know I've been campaigning for your release, but Luna and Celestia won't take my petition seriously unless there's proof you won't, y'know, end all life as we know it." She produced parchment and quills from her chest ruff, then turned hopeful eyes upon the galactic deity. "Maybe we could compare notes? Mom gave me the same assignment."

"Child, I am never going to write an asinine, syrupy essay on 'What Harmony Means to Me'." Cosmos quoted the words with her talons, mocking Twilight. "Frankly, your mother can stick her essay right where the moon doesn't sh-"

"Well, why not?" Pan pouted. "....What, is it 'cause you're a big chaos monster like Dad?" She pondered, tapping her quill to her chin. "Is the concept of harmony like, antithetical to your existence or something?"

"What?" Cosmos jerked, indignant. "Oh, you poor jabbering ninnyhammer, how those tiddly equines have led you astray. Chaos is not the opposite of harmony, no matter what the ponies tell you. Chaos- delicious chaos- is a component of Harmony." And Cosmos struck a dramatic pose, curling her scorpion tail high. "Chaos is necessary for Harmony to exist, foolish girl."

"Oh! I gotcha, Granny." Pan rummaged again through her chest ruff, and produced a black-and-white cookie from her lunchbox. "Like good and evil?"

Cosmos promptly slapped the cookie from her paw. "No, dunderwhelp. That line of thinking is too reductive." She chided. "Prick up your ears. Harmony and Chaos are not opposites. Chaos is a piece of Harmony. The other piece is Order. Order and Chaos work together to form Harmony." Cosmos pressed her hooked talons together for emphasis. "Neither component is inherently good or evil. Both have the capacity for destruction, whether used in excess or scarcity. Order creates conformity, rigidity, while Chaos creates mayhem."

Pan gazed sadly at her fallen cookie, then looked grumpily to Cosmos. "That's what you were responsible for, right?" She groused. "Back when you and Dad ruled Equestria. Terrifying the ponies, wreaking havoc, givin' us draconequii a bad name." Pan pointed a dramatic, accusing digit at Cosmos.

"Of course." Cosmos puffed up proudly. "It was about time somebody showed the little ponies how to have a bit of fun."

"You lit an orphanage on fire, Granny."

"And didn't those little fillies have a barrel of fun?" Cosmos heaved a longing sigh. "Such sonorous screams of joy!"

"....So that's what Dad meant." Pan mumbled. "You take Chaos too far."

"Ah, ah, don't let your miserable father warp your young, squishy mind with lies." Cosmos lilted, leaning into Pan's personal space. "He's desperate to whitewash his role in the past to look good to you, and the rest of the little horsies. Especially Princess Twiggle Spiggle and that mewling yellow pegasus Flitterflap." Cosmos rolled her eyes. "Make no mistake, he was running amok right alongside me, puppeting the ponies like marionettes over a lake of fire. I do believe that one's beautifully captured in stained glass, right there at Canterlot Castle." The alien looked wistful now, reminiscing over lost love and endless roaring flames. "Ah, I do love the smell of singed horse hair in the morning."

"You'll forgive me if I hesitate to believe my dad's self-admitted evil ex-girlfriend." Pan groused, folding her arms. "And.....And besides, no matter what he got up to in the past. Dad is reformed now. He's even helped save Equestria a few times. Mom says no creature is ever too far gone to be good." Pan pressed, shooting a meaningful look at Cosmos. "....Even you, Granny."

"Bah." Cosmos stuck out her forked tongue. "I'd rather rot up here on this wretched lunar wasteland than live even one yoctosecond among technicolored beasts of burden. At least here, on the moon, I'm free."

"Free?" Pan repeated, her snout crinkling in confusion. "Cosmos, how are you possibly-"

"Think, my girl." Cosmos clasped Pan's face in her gnarled, bony hand, squishing the girl's cheeks. "Chaos is freedom. Chaos is fun. Every delight you enjoy in life- spontaneity, surprises, joy, emotion, love- you owe to Chaos. And the ponies would love to see us and our kind snuffed out, to see Chaos done away with forever. The ponies want Order- they want stagnation, control- to the point where they won't even let the rain fall, or the Sun rise, without it scheduled two weeks in advance. How droll."

Cosmos released Pandora's face, then scooped up a handful of moon dust. In a weak pulse of magic, she shaped it into a horse's skull and draped it over her hand, making it yap like a sock puppet. "They think a world without Chaos would be a world without death." Cosmos mused, "And perhaps they'd be right. Perhaps ponies would live forever. But foals would cease to be born, because Chaos is life as much as it is death. Plants would fail to grow. Nothing would ever evolve, or change, or feel- all of existence would slide slowly into cosmic negentropy."

"Uh." Pan was wringing her tail, clearly terrified of the implications.

"Do you see then, why Chaos is needed? Why it isn't synonymous with Evil, as your little pony pals claim?"

"....Yeah. I think I understand." Pan said. She kneeled over the broken remains of her cookie, scooping the pieces in her paws. "I guess it's not really about good and evil at all, huh? Chaos-" She gathered the chocolate bits of the cookie- "And Order-" She scooped the vanilla pieces- "in moderate proportions- come together to form something wonderful-" She united the broken chocolate and vanilla halves, forming a whole, if dirty cookie. "Harmony, right?" And she beamed at Cosmos.

"Yes! Excellent, child!" Cosmos returned Pan's enthusiasm with a toothy grin of her own- before jerking in alarm, realizing she'd very nearly been nice. "Ahem. I mean....that's still a simplistic metaphor. But I suppose if that's what it takes for your feeble half-pony brain to grasp things..."

"Half.....pony." Pandora frowned, glancing down at the six-pointed pink star emblazoned on her chest. "....That's right, I am half pony. Cosmos, where do I fit into all this chaos and order junk?" Pan pleaded. "I mean, Mom's the princess of friendship, and Dad's the avatar of Chaos, and you're the spirit of Malice-"

"Titles, child, only titles." Cosmos waved her hand dismissively. "Or did you think some godly force descended from on high to declare your mother the official lone princess of making ponies get along?" She mocked. "She just happened to be half-decent at it, and so she sprouted a pair of scrawny alicorn wings. She's no more the lone avatar of all things friendship than any other little pony that happens to be good at friendship lectures and shooting rainbow laser beams. Your mother's job could be replaced with a particularly empathetic goat."

"Huh?" Pan gaped, flabbergasted. "B-But.....But I thought destiny-"

"Destiny is a lie little ponies tell themselves to make peace with the 'special talent' forever stamped on their rumps. Honestly, the riots I'd lead if my cutie mark was a spoon or something." Cosmos scoffed. "The truth is, every creature has a choice in who they are. Every creature creates their own destiny. Your father chose to be a tyrant king, and now chooses to waste good chaos magic on ice cream snow for children." She paused for a long moment. "....Even I was not always Malice."

"Oh my stars." Pan squealed, and did an excited hippity-hop on her hooves. She clasped Cosmos' gnarled talons in her own paws, beaming. "Really? There was really a time when you were nice?"

Cosmos' cheeks went pink. "Feh." She scoffed. "Perhaps.....perhaps there was a time when I went by as the spirit of.....I don't know, benevolence, or something. Perhaps....I ruled my quadrant of the galaxy with compassion and charity, and bestowed miracle after miracle to my subjects." She winced. "And perhaps they were grateful.....for a time. But the hunger of a mortal can never be sated. They wanted more. They demanded more. Perhaps.....I emptied out my heart to sustain them." Cosmos swallowed, looking a little lost.....before she remembered herself, and fixed Pan with a cruel smirk. "And then perhaps, I learned laying waste to them was much more fun."

"Hmm. Not buying it, old lady." A terrible, happy, smug smile was plastered all over Pan's face- it made a strange emotion flutter in Cosmos' chest. "The stinger and claws and venom can't hide it- you're a big ol' softie inside, I knew it."

"I could destroy you." Cosmos threatened. "Painfully, child."

"Yeah, yeah." Pan teased. "So....if every creature gets to decide their own destiny, what does that mean for me?" She placed a paw on her chest star, as though nervous it'd disappear. "....Doesn't my mark, y'know.....mean something?"

"It means whatever you want it to mean, you barmy little brat." Cosmos shrugged, feigning indifference. "I'm certain you could ignore it for the rest of your life, if you wanted to. Or take it as a sign to go prance along with the other persnickety pony princesses. No one will come and spoon-feed you answers, Pandora. It is up to you to decide what you are."

Pandora recoiled. Her arms dropped to her sides, and she suddenly looked quite small, like a foal that'd lost its mother at the market. She played listlessly with her long mane, inspecting the colors.

Normally, the sight of the annoying draconequus whelp looking so bereft would bring Cosmos pleasure, but now....urgh. Cosmos groaned, and pinched the bridge of her snout.

Galloping galaxies, these cutesy creatures were making her soft.

"....Look." Cosmos growled. "You smell of chaotic draconequus magic and orderly pathetic pony magic." Cosmos flicked out her forked snake tongue, scenting the air around Pandora. "Perhaps Chaos and Order both blaze within you. Perhaps it is your quest to figure out how to unite your halves, like your stupid cookie, to be at peace with yourself- to create Harmony."

Pandora stilled, blinking at her. For one frightening moment, Cosmos feared she'd said something amiss, and the girl would start blubbering- but the star on Pan's chest began to glow pale pink- and then the draconequus was launching herself into Cosmos' arms- and oh, Sun and Saturn, Cosmos was being hugged.

"Oh thank you thank you thank you I've been feeling so lost and alone and I don't have a flying feather what I'm supposed to be doing with my life and everypony expects me to know but I don't think I want to be a princess but I don't want to be a monster and I'm really just so scared all of the time-"

"DESIST-" Cosmos managed to pry the girl away. Enough of that. Pandora sniffled in Cosmos' grasp, resembling a soggy, limp noodle.

"It's like you said- everypony else gets some clue about what they're supposed to do stamped right there on their butts, but I've never really been sure what-"

"Enough. You're just a pup, still fresh from your egg. You're too young to be riddled with such existential dread." Cosmos snapped.

"I'm in high school, Granny."

"You still smell of egg to me." Cosmos dismissed. "....Besides, if you're really plagued by a yearning for purpose, you could always find it with me." And now the alien entity grinned, all crooked, yellowed fangs. "....You could set me free, child."

"Huh?" Pandora scrubbed at her face, blinking at Cosmos.

"You have the power to shatter Luna's safeguard spell. You could free me from the moon, and together, we could bring a reign of chaos the likes of which Equestria has never seen before." Cosmos cackled. "There's your grand destiny! I've warned you of the dangers of Order- how those witless little ponies would enact it if they could, how they've already taken full control of the weather, Sun, and Moon, how they seek to snuff out Chaos, because they think it evil. If they have their way, food will have no flavor, foals will have no imagination, and you and I will have no place in their precious, perfect, orderly world." She reached out, cupping the young draconequus' face in her talons.

"Join me, Pandora. You want to unlock your potential- I could show you how, and you never need adhere to any pointless pony rules and law. You could be free. We could rule the cosmos together as uncaged creatures of Chaos.....as mother and daughter." Cosmos forced long-dead sincerity into her voice, her smile curling with attempted warmth. "Let's show these little equines a whole new world of possibilities."

For a moment, Pan held Cosmos' gaze, considering- and then she raised her paws to take Cosmos' hand. She pulled it from her face, but gave it a squeeze.

"Nah." Pan stuck out her tongue playfully. "It's a swell offer, but I already have a mom, Cosmos. And I already decided- I kinda wanna be like her when I grow up." She pressed her paw to the star on her chest, regarding it carefully. "I just....gotta figure out the balance, right?"

For just a moment, Cosmos looked crestfallen- but Pandora missed it. "....Right. Be like your stupid cookie." She grumbled. "Sweet, balanced, and bland." She stuck her snout in the air with a hmph. "Personally, I prefer my treats with a bit more kick."

"And I prefer my mentors bitter and decrepit." Pan booped her snout to Cosmos' cheek in a childish kiss. "See ya around, Granny! You've given me a ton to put in my essay!"

"How dare you!" Cosmos puffed up with an indignant screech, summoning feeble, flickering magic to her hands. "I'll disintegrate you, you- you cheeky.....girl!"

Pan blew a loud raspberry as she prepared to teleport. "Don't worry, old lady! I promise I'll write!" And in a bright flash of sparkling magenta magic, she was gone.

Cosmos folded her arms with a huff, battling her tail. She sat for a long moment, glaring at the star-shaped scorch mark Pandora had left behind.

.....Stupid girl had better write.

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a tale of two idiots

Cosmos' design was veeeery much plagiarized inspired from 's comic. Please check out her lovely work and alleviate my guilt: Moon Landing Page 1

i also utilized a texture from this: Earth Moon Texture Pack and also this: Film Grain

pan is holding a black & white (my fav kind of cookie). It's a shortbread or cakey cookie frosted with chocolate and vanilla icing, it anybody was wondering

Recall that Cosmos was Pandora's childhood "imaginary friend": and attempted to use the draconequus cub to sow discord into the hearts of mortals. It failed horribly, because Pan dumb. At this point in time, Cosmos is still imprisoned on the moon, but Pan likes to visit her from time to time for advice. Pan is inexplicably fond of her "Granny" and this causes Cosmos great agony, can't she rot alone in space in peace no don't go actually she's very lonely

I had a lot of fun writing Cosmos, I tried to write her as very shrewd and intelligent and and above-it-all, which partners well with teen Pan being a big dumbass noodle. She maybe keeps trying to trick pan into being her daughter-student/minion of evil, Pan isn't having it

flat color version, for those interested:

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