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LahBT — Friends... [NSFW]
Published: 2011-07-27 03:10:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 630; Favourites: 11; Downloads: 0
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Description
This time, the description will be long...... because, actually, this drawing is a confession.
You don't need to read if you don't want, but maybe it helps you to understand this drawing.
But first of all, I used her stock: PoisonDropStock -> [link]
... I don't know exactly how to start...
Well... this faceless guy is my friend in reality. I mean, I don't know him personally, I met him 4 years ago in a game.
He's a punk, with mohawk and an ear stretcher xD But he's a nice person. He's the only one of the game who still talks with me, after so many years, and so many happenings....
Hehe... He isn't only nice. He's fantastic. I can tell you that I love him. But NOT a homossexual love. I love him as if he were my brother, you know? A brother that I never had... he's my buddy.
I often hear people ask: "Do perfect people exist?"
Well... I never believed they existed... until I met him.
He makes the people like him in less than 5 minutes, he makes the girls (and even the boys xD) fall in love with him, less than 2 minutes. He gets everything he wants, without difficulty. He calls people's attention and they're fascinated by him. Everyone I know and knew him, always speak well of him. Always speak well of him...
He's smart, he's funny, he's friendly, he's handsome... he's THE guy.
But... as I love him... I hate him.
Yes. I hate.
He's my sickness, he's my pain, he's my despair, he's my failure...
... He's someone I'll never be...
You probably don't know (although I have already made a drawing about it), but I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
No... it's not depression. I'm not a depression person, yeah belive me.
The symptoms of Borderline just attack me when I'm sad. In other words, I'm not sad all day thinking about killing myself and I don't avoid people. THIS is a symptom of depression. Borderline is another thing. In fact, medically speaking it's worse than depression.
Do you know bullying? When someone humilates you all day... ok. Now imagine that "someone" is your own mind, and it humilates you and laugh at you only when you're sad, and you can't stop these thoughts, because you're sick.
Yeah... this is Borderline. But this is only one symptom.
I can't be pround of me, even if I wanted. I can't like my drawings, for me they're never good enough. I manipulate people, I feel bored of my life, and etc...
Yes, I have a big problem...
And now...
Now...
THIS PERFECT GUY CAME INTO MY LIFE, AND EVERY TIME I TALK TO HIM, I SEE HOW MY LIFE SUCKS!
And... it makes me sad... and it's getting worse...
It's getting very hard to talk with him. But I can't stop.....
... Jealousy? Maybe.
But I know... I'm getting madder by the minute.
But I can't stop...
... He's my buddy...
There's something very wrong with me...
I hate someone I love.
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Comments: 35
oh, tenso manolinho. Sabe o que você faz ? Pega esse carinha da sua cabeça e enche ele de porrada !! Brincadeira,(podefazersequisereuajudo) pode contar comigo pra qualquer coisa 
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Huahuahauh eetaa tá loca?! Eu tenho a leve impressão de que ele é mais forte que eu xDDDD Mas é... ele é baixinho... mas eu também não sou grande coisa xD
Mas ei, Obrigado pelo apoio ;D 
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Ele é mais forte ? Deixa ele comigo
Aw, de nada
Mas é serio, me procure qualquer coisa : D
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Minha heroína! hauhauah xD
Claro
O mesmo digo pra você, pode contar sempre comigo ^^
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nossa q foda eu jurava q era tradicional
mto manero esse efeito d papel amassado
(naoeunaolioquetavaeminglespqdeupriguiça)
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Huahauhauahu xDD É que se eu fosse traduzir... dai ia dar 400 kilômetros de descrição xDDDD
Mas vlw :3
Ow fazia tempo que não te via
E eu te mandei uma mensagem no cel xD Não sei se chegou
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I'm sorry to hear about this 
And about the bored of your life and how you can't be proud of your drawings, sometimes I get that way too and most of the times you just have to focus on the good things in life and in your drawings even if there's only a few
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Thank you ^^
Ah, I don't know.. I like to keep these things inside of me (only this one was difficult...) .. but thanks anyway
It's kind of hard to think in good things when I'm with these symptoms, you know? But ok... I'll try to think when this happens again
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And I understand, its all good if you don't want to talk about it. It really is hard to think of the good things in life and art but as long as you try you'll at least feel a little better
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Yes, this is true ^^
Hey, but really really thanks for the attention
You're a very good friend
I'm happy to have met you! ^^
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Your Very Welcome 
I'm glad to have met you as well
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if youre talking about the picture, no. anything else, yes T_T
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xD ok good. well.. not really good... but... UGH, you know what i mean >.>
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Ho crap... I might have that O.O" Cause Ive been bullying myself and not being able to control it. Its usually when Im getting my hopes up for something, then it just crashes down. Hmm, and I might have those other symptoms too. and the pride thing, the drawing disliking (there are only a few i ACTUALLy have some faith in) Hmm, I wonder if I DO have it.
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Welcome to the group of sick people! xD
Well... This isn't a good thing, but... here we are...
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I know what you mean, And im sorry, I thought she was my sister, but she hurt me in a way a best friend never should, im sorry somebody else has to know how i feel... if u wanna talk abt it then im always open...
im here for you.
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Thanks for the sympathy :]
And that's ok ^^
You can get it off your chest with me. I always hear the problems of my friends and I'm good at helping them
Ah my problems... I like to keep them inside me, but this one... was very difficult.
But if you really want to talk about it, there's no problem ^^
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I dont tell others secrets, if you need to get something off your chest then feel at ease telling me, I don't like hearing about when people keep their problems inside, because it eats you away with guilt and fear.... Please dont keep it inside.... You can share whatever you need with me, please just let it out to me, i dontnt you to make the same mistake i did by keeping it inside.... Because it drove me to the edge :hugs: Just know, i'm always up for making a new friend and i try to help no matter what... im open for you...
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Sorry for the delay in answering you. I was thinking in something to say.
I'm grateful that you're offering help, and I'll accept
I'll watch you, so if you want to send me notes or I don't know, something like that, for us to talk about, that's ok for me
So yeah... I'm Lara, but you can call me just Lah if you want ^^
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Lara is real name or no?
And I'm sorry It's taken so long for me to reply as well,
I've been having a lot of stress and my new town is very...
Miserable, The suns rays are supposed to give you a vitamin
that makes your mood change... Well It's very sunny and very hot then.. Why Am I still so sad, I went from the Cold Dark Blue Pacific Ocean, To a desert in a gangster town.... -Sigh-, And I'm glad we can talk, It will give me time to talk to someone, Even though I hardly have spoken with you, I bet even you care more than everyone else in my personal life, It's quite pathetic...
I have to depend on people all the way around the world that I
Barely know just to feel loved... Yes well I think I've rambled enough about my sob story life, Haha.... sorry, I tend to do that too much... ^3^, Pardon That lil Habit
Well How bout we talk about you now so that I stop my rambling problem I'm told i have... Where do ya live? Country? state?
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Real name ^^
Ah... that's ok :]
Hm... I believe that the impact of change is difficult, but... change is good. You learn new things... things you didn't see when you hadn't changed.
Yeah... I don't have a lot of friends in my life away from the computer, and especially friends who care to talk about it... to talk about problems...
But I have someone that I knew on the internet... and is with him that I talk about these things... so I guess I really don't have much to say, because I have someone to listen to me... and my problems... yeah, I have a lot of problems, but they're ok, you know? The most difficult phase I've already overcame... only when I'm sad, I get down, because of my illness (BPD), but in fact, I'm fine.
But you told me that there is nobody to hear you, so I want to be this person, because I know how it hurts...
But if you want me to tell you things about me, there's no problem, of course xD But let's talk through notes, because here is complicated ^^
Ah, I'm from Brazil, and I live in São Paulo state (you may not know this state, but yeah... I live there xD...)
And you?
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there's nothing wrong with that neither is there something wrong with you... why don't you try telling him that (if you havent already)...?
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Hm... I'm afraid to tell, because I don't know what can happen after that...
Hehe... he'll see the "great friend" he has...
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well do you feel you can trust him with anything no matter what?
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Yes, but... it'll be a tremendous disappointment... I know this.
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well what can you do in the end? whatever happens, happens. in the end, it's all inevitable. just try saying something about it then say you're joking if he takes it the wrong way.
did that help any?
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.. yeah... you're right.
Thank you for it.
I'll think better about it...
Maybe I'll talk to him.
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no problem tell me if you need help with anything else
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Naah, don't worry about that ^^
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