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Naaauughty... — Description
Freaky Fred, my favourite villain from Courage The Cowardly Dog. 8D He's a barber with a bit of a hair fetish.. well, shaving fetish, really. Either way, it makes me laugh. xP

And if you haven't seen the episode, I can't seem to find it on YouTube (curse you..) but there is a video that contains some Fred clips, here--> [link] He first appears three seconds in, and again at 2:35.

Freaky Fred's Poem

Hello, new friend, my name is Fred.
The words you hear are in my head.
I say, I said, my name is Fred,
And I've been... very naughty.

The story I'm about to tell,
I tell you, I will tell you well,
Is of my dear Aunt Muriel,
And just how I've been... naughty.

Voila! The farm. My aunt lives here,
With precious pup and husband dear.
My heart beats fast as I draw near,
I feel so nice... and naughty.

I thought just how excited they
Must be that I would come today.
They'd shout, "Come Fred! Huzzah! Hooray!
Dear boy, you look so... naughty."

That's when my tired eyes beheld
A doggy dog, like dog he smelled.
D-O-G is what he spelled,
And that's how I spell... naughty.

Alone was I, with tender Courage,
And all his fur, his furry furrage.
Which, I say, did encourage
Me to be... quite naughty.

Courage... your hair...
It reminds me of the first time I knew just how I felt about hair.

It was a day I'd not forget,
The day that I first met my pet.
Oh, what a lovely gift to get!
I'd never felt so... naughty.

My fuzzy friend is what he was,
This darling little ball of fuzz.
And oh, such fuzz, such fuzz it does
Demand that I be... naughty.

He looked at me, his fetching eyes,
And fetching fur did hypnotize.
And filled with joy, and filled with sighs,
And that's when I got... naughty.

Now, now... you shouldn't play in the toilet.

This dripping hair, this droopy curl
Unfold sweet memories of a girl
Whose tresses, oh, they'd twist and twirl!
And tempt me to be... naughty.

Barbara, my love was named,
And her fair hair, a mane untamed.
Until one evening, I'm ashamed,
I got a little... naughty.

The look upon my young love's face
Was sweet as lace,
But in this case,
I realized she... needed space.

I never more was naughty.
Well... maybe not never.

Dear cur, your fur and fleece remind
Of nothing found in human kind.
But for one fellow who did find
Me to be... in a certain mood.

Into my shop, he walked one day,
With bush above, and beard bouquet.
That's no toupee, I pray! No way!
I could help but be... you know.

I'd never seen such hair before,
His bangs, they sang! His neck, it beckoned!
Eyebrows, armpits -- all were reckoned.
Soon I figured, "What the heck," and,
Guess how I was?... Naughty.

Sweet pooch, afraid I'll shave your tail?
Why, now, that would be weird!

So ends our little story.

But then my landlords did resume
To free me from that porcelain tomb
And ferry to a private room
Your hero, ever doughty.

Good-bye, dear aunt, I'll miss your farm,
And Eustace's ebullient charm.
And farewell, Courage, what's the harm?
If I was slightly... naughty.

With love,
Fred.

Freaky Fred and Courage The Cowardly Dog are © John R. Dilworth.