HOME | DD

Inside my Head — Description

There is a comfort from sitting inside my own head, hiding behind myself. Maybe that's why eye contact feels too intimate, I'm afraid to be seen inside.
Sometimes, it's nice to let someone in. Allow them to see myself behind the curtains, through the windows into my head.
I suppose my art allows a peak. A glimpse. A photograph of a moment or a thought or a feeling.
But to reveal myself in the flesh?
I'm not sure what my own criteria even is for letting someone in, for letting them see me.
I got two mountain lions tattooed on my back. I like the symbolism. If you spot one in the wild, they seem beautiful, and terrifying. don't be mistaken. You have not discovered it. If you can see the lion, it has been watching you for much longer. It's silent and in its eyes you can see that it is watching you and waiting. Waiting to kill.
Don't worry, I'm not a murderer. But the dynamics of being seen are interesting.
I've been thinking of posing for nude art at a local art store. My clothes are typically revealing, and I swam growing up. Im used to being nude in front of people you could say. But the mind, the eyes, the thoughts inside, sharing them make me feel so much more naked.
What is the threshold? Maybe it's my own safety. A guarantee that if I invite you in, you won't burn the place down. I need to trust that letting someone in won't destroy myself in the process.