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FeatheredSeclude - Floppa Zone — Description

Another piece that follows my character Elias and is more a continuation of the previous -- healing's not linear and sometimes healing feels like hurting; and that's one of the hardest parts of healing, working through the hurt that has been there for so long it's rewrote you as a person.
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This blessing aches more than survival,
forcing my continuation as nothing beyond a leech,
portrayed like a parasite dressed in royalty,
there is truly nothing left at this point.
The more time that passes the more I am convinced,
the farther my conviction to carry on breaks down,
the more I lose my mind locked away inside white walls,
this blessing of eternity bleeds more than what a life holds.
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I’ve had to watch the few things I had left disappear,
either they vanish when my gaze is turned,
or I’m looked in the eye and told of their departure.
Whether I live or die no longer makes a difference,
if I live I linger in walls made to lock me away,
if I die I fade away in a hole as a forgotten memory,
the more this goes on the more I believe his words,
I could not care one way or the other,
whether you lived or died.
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Being disconnected from the world was sold to help,
all I see from this is another way to lose what threads I grasp onto,
further telling me without words that there is nothing left.
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Time passes and I can’t recall the last time I saw the world,
a majourity of it is blurs with named faces of strangers and white cells,
many linger in similar states alongside me,
this doesn’t fill me with community,
I just feel more alone from living like a number in a box.
How far gone do I have to be,
I already know there is nothing left of me,
what more can be taken away?
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The longer I remain the more it sinks in,
I could not care one way or the other,
whether I lived or died.
I believe there is nothing left.
I just hope I can be convinced otherwise.