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Omfg — Description
*kicks the door open*

*looms in the doorway in a fight position*

.........

*blows up*

Bruh, i...i swear i've said this like twelve different times here Below Deck, but i swear to God every time i think Kitten's mom can't possibly be more petty or frustrate me anymore, she reaches new lows.
We've entered the negatives, guys, it's serious.
Imma just dive in, fuck it.

Kitten recently found out he's Autistic, and as part of taking off the mask he's had strapped to his face like a Gmod C4 since he was a kid, he's been stimming.
Rocking, as far as i know, which i spend like a quarter of my day doing (as i have been since i was a toddler).
Now my mom might be an emotionally-constipated ingrate, but even she has never once bothered me about my stims.
She actually encouraged it growing up, not so daft as to not understand that it was self-preserving behavior.
She indulged me by getting me rocking chairs (replacements as the years went on and they got too dirty/worn out).
It was the best thing ever to be done for me, it kept me so sane and helped me enjoy so much of my life!
Even at 28 years old, i have a rocking chair, which is such a relief to sit in and just roooccckkk
Rocking is heaven.
Rocking is the orgasm of basic movement; it's divine.
Perhaps even, holy.
Raw, pure, primal...
And yet, apparently something this harmless and inconspicuous is too much for Kitten's petulant birther, Twat.

Today while Kitten was, WITHIN HIS RIGHTS AS A HUMAN BEING IN HIS OWN HOME, WORKING, Twat told him to stop because it's "annoying," and "makes her anxious," and possibly some other bullshit.
The last time i personally can remember being so petty about something like that was when i was 14.
I can be pretty petty, but this is some new-level shit.
We are talking about a 51-year-old, adult human woman with kids, a job, and two pets.
You pay bills and work, and are so fretful that another human sitting at his desk working, rocking back and forth, is something you feel the need to address...?
I know you wear glasses, Twat, i know your eyesight is piss-poor in broad daylight.
Maybe take the bitches off and just not see it anymore!
Wow!
Or even easier, you could just look literally anywhere else.
You don't even work in the same fuckin' room as your son, how can you be seein' that shit?
I know you're all but built like Big Ed from 90 Day Fiancé, but i'm certain your ringed neck trunk is capable of at least a diminutive amount of swivel.

This is a cake of Twatness that has been layering up for years and i sense we somehow still have not reached the top.
Which is a good thing because if we reach the top of that fucking skyscraper cake...
Imma eviscerate that cherry like an aggro pussy pro on a virgin.
Yes i know that's inappropriate and disturbing, catch me givin' a fuck, i dare you.
I will annihilate that cunt.
I already want to; i swear every day as i learn new horsedumpery she pulls, i get closer to T r a n s f o r m i n g.
Into what i don't know yet, hopefully we never get that far.
But i'm CHARGED.
I'm living on pins and needles with weather bullshit, my house is currently at risk of blowing up because the house architect was a Devil Worshipper (probably), i don't have time to fight that fuckin' gorilla mother-impersonator.

The thing about this that's doubly frustrating is Leian isn't half as spined-up as my mother.
I'm sorry to call you out, mate, but Kitten's childhood trauma caused by her makes it impossible for him to summon the anger and confidence i am capable of mustering against my own family, and those fucks have a harsh bark.
Especially my mom, who's very flesh is was threaded by the God of Narcissism themselves.
I started back-talking when i was like 10.
I go too far sometimes, but it's earned me some respect i otherwise wouldn't have if i let them walk over me.
But Kitten lacks this instinct, and to be fair, Twat is also a narcissist.
She's just like...the softer version of it.
Mine's the angry-fuck-you-cos-i'm-superior kind, Kit's is the "oh woe is me you're right i'm wrong" version who sad-guilts her victims into worrying them doing something as offensive as scratching an itch will cause her to commit Toaster Bath.
(Also not to call East's bro out too, but when Twat was forced to realize and accept that her kids are normal human beings who masturbate, she was in a state of bed-ridden despair and was talking about feeling suicidal.
I never wanna make fun of someone's mental illness, but Twat's also great at being dramatic, and i don't trust her.
Mormonism is a curse and she's a prisoner of its brainwashing, which is sickness in and of itself.)

So in reality if, say, i were to bombard Twat with perspective and logic and not back down, she probably wouldn't know what to do with herself.
She's terrified of the cis male son she raised to be a tyrant, so she doesn't fuck with him when he's mad, but a woman she could kill by sitting on?
I might actually be an opponent she wouldn't crumple from so easily.
Honestly i would love me some fresh meat right now, my inner Clyde is SCREAMING to go into debate with her flappy ass.

Since we're here, i'mma just vent about some other shit.

LIGHTNING ROUND

Could you please stop fucking interrupting our phone calls?
You know we are talking on the phone, as we do every day, and you know Kit is going to politely ask to get back to our call, because your requests, stories, and demands are unimportant, can wait, or can be dealt with yourself.

When Kit politely asks to get back to our call after you rudely interrupt it, could you not just go ".....Oh..." and then be all fake-submissive guilt-trippy moose-poop pile about it?
Imagine if you could hear me on the other side of the phone saying "SHUUUT UUUUP!"
The fact that Kitten doesn't verbally rail you every day of your wasted life is beyond me, he's better than i am.
She gets so offended every single time, as if she doesn't fucking live with Kit and see him all day every day in their prison-- i mean apartment...
DUMBASS.
She's freakishly over-attached and controlling, but also can't wait to get rid of him, i???

You act and sound like you're 5.
I feel so sorry for my mans having been raised by a child, that's rough.
The whiny, nasally, loud -- AND YOU INTERRUPT OUR PHONE CALLS BY BEING LIKE THIS.
YOU JUST ARE SO LOUD AND IMMATURE IN THE WRONG WAY, AND YOUR VOICE IS SO PUNISHING TO LISTEN TO, IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU SPEAK I PHYSICALLY HEAR MY KARMA.
YOUR VOICE IS THE PRICE I PAY IN LIFE.
SPEAK LITERALLY ANYWHERE LOWER THAN IN YOUR FOREHEAD, AND CONSIDER SEEING AN OTOLARYNGOLOGIST.
No wonder your other son talks like a kiddie diddler with his huevos sucked up into his tits...

Kitten one time asked if you're supposed to shake canned whipped cream before spraying it and Twat "jokingly" replied with "ArR YuE gOnNa Be CaLliNg AnD aSkiNg Me StUfF liKe ThaT wHeN yOu MoVe OuT?"
I don't know, Leo cocksucker IDIOT, are YOU gonna call Kitten and ask HIM every day to walk your dog, clean up after your dog, feed your dog, bathe your dog, clean your cat's litter box, feed your cat, bathe your cat, pay all your bills, walk to the store to buy you meds and groceries, go with you to do things you can do yourself, spend whole entire weekends with you without seeing friends, pick up after you and Fuckwit after you eat and make messes everywhere, cook for you, clean the whole apartment for you, fix you drinks, fetch you shit within arm's reach, AND EVERYTHING ELSE?!?!?!
BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO NOT BE GETTING THE MESSAGE THAT YOUR SON IS FUCKING LEEEAVIIING!!!
Shouldn't your depressed and anxious book-fucker ass be trying to practice taking care of your fucking self BEFORE you're high and dry?
No, because YOU'RE LAZY.
And i happen to recall that being a sin, according to your favorite authors...!
Interesting.

Fake-ally pussy bitch.
You have the personality and uselessness of a third nipple.
I love how you pretend you support Kit being "gay" (boy i wish i could see the look on your flushed face when you find out he's trans, GOD i would laugh so hard), then bitch about LGBT+ issues and have debates with him about it that make him feel like shit.
Oh and then also say to others around you, IN FRONT OF HIM, that you "have a sense of right and wrong" as a defense for not being 100% supportive.
AS IF KITTEN DOESN'T KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG.
You know what's really wrong?
A 2,000+-year-old book written by a bunch of dudes beating their wives and having sex with their daughters being a "moral code" you live by.
And PS, no, the Bible was not the "origin of morality."
If any human now or back then didn't know it was wrong to steal, kill, or lie (depending all on circumstance, btw), they weren't actually a person.
That's an animal.
Evolution made us capable of a conscience like 100,000 years ago, when we just made "OOG" and "UGH" noises and threw sticks at hairy snow elephants.

WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN GODDAMN FOOD. KITTEN CAN HAVE A SECOND HELPING IF HE FUCKING WANTS!!!!!!
HE COOKED IT!!!
FUCK YOU, HYPOCRITE!
GET YOUR LAP BAND REMOVED AND TRY NOT TO GORGE YOURSELF FOR A FEW DAYS ON YOUR OWN AND THEN CAST SOME STONES.

Do some stretches, woman.
Stretch.
Exercise a tiny bit, it might help your back and shit and whatever else is wrong with you.
Don't be crazy with it, but for the love of Jesus's juicy Jerusalem tits, move around even a little bit.
A body in rest stays in rest.
Stop complaining and move around, you'll feel better.

---

There's more, i know there's more, oh god i know there's more but i can't think of it right now.
On a more serious note, if you are in a mentally/emotionally abusive household situation, and your life isn't in danger or you're not in threat of being kicked out, talk back.
If someone tells you a thing you do (which is harmless) bothers them, put it back on them.
"Why are you being so weird about me moving in place? Look somewhere else."
A little attitude can go a long way.
Sometimes you stir the pot and they stir back, and you could get into arguments.
Sometimes that's good, sometimes that's bad.
It's a learning experience, it'll put some layers on your skin.
And for the record, you don't necessarily have to throw the first "punch."
Be calm about your callout, and if they react angrily, stay calm.
It keeps you in control, and petulant weinertards like Twat will look stupid and will destroy themselves by acting like a chimp on roids.
Something as basic as quietly stimming cannot possibly hurt anyone

Idk people feel it out, pick battles, don't make everything into an argument, but stand up for yourselves.
Trust me, it feels good when you have an idiot stymied.

I'm exhausted now, i just feel tired and am drained of my will to fight.
I'd rather have a nap, but i don't do those ~^~
Gonna eat garbage now.

PS I'm getting really good at drawing gorillas for all the wrong reasons now, this is nuts

BYE.

---eat yellow snow---