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Bacterian Camel — Description

Do be careful, they're a spitter, and a biter, but mainly a spitter. Reeeeeaaally likes to spit, so you best watch yourself. Now don't get too close! That thing spits, if you couldn't tell from the fifty signs we put up all around it! There is a reason those things are posted a hundred feet away from it, it can hock one a whole lot farther than you think! I don't think you are understanding how dangerous this spit is. Ya'll always laugh when we tell you this thing spits and that you should stand behind the safety line when observing it, but I guess it is all just a big joke, huh? Look at all those signs and just go "huh, do you think it spits, Debbie?" "I think they're trying to say it spits, Debbie!" "Looks like a spitter, huh, Debbie?" "Well gosh gee, Debbie, I think my face is melting off due to a necrotic infection, DEBBIE!" YOU HEAR THAT, DEBBIE?! STAND BEHIND THE LINE! IF IT SPITS, YOU DIE, WHAT DON'T YOU GUYS GET?! WE HAVE TO FEED THE BLOODY THING IN HAZMAT SUITS! BUT NO, JUST GO AHEAD LITTLE TIMMY AND WALK RIGHT UP FOR A CLOSER LOOK! OOPS! HOPE YOU LIKE SEPSIS, TIMMY!

God, I hate this petting zoo....

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Don't mind me, just basking in my sheer genius here. Oh what's that? A trophy for "World's Cleverest Person" and a check for a billion dollars? Golly!

I was way too proud of this idea.