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These past few months have really pushed at my mental health, with every negative month there seemed to be people getting the positives that I desperately want, and it hurts. Seeing every post about how they "weren't even trying" to the ones that "got pregnant so easily" or the "fell pregnant the first month of trying", it drains a little more. I stopped wanting to see those around me with kids, family and friends, I've isolated myself away from any situation that involves pregnancy and kids. Even now I try to seat out of situations like that, going as far as to potentially miss my best friend of 2 decades wedding because she will have her kids their, my godchildren, and I know I should be happy for all these people, I just cant be, and I hate it, I feel so selfish and cruel. This isn't their fault and they have no idea what's going on, but this envy and jealousy just doesn't go away, it just gets stronger with every passing day..