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Pain... (Vent) — Description

So... if anyone is confused of this art. Let me explain.
So, I've been abused for a long time. (DW ITS NOT SA OR SOMETHING)
I've been abused by my parents and manipulated by them. I feel lost from this pain. From all those years and I don't know what to say anymore. My parents were abusive from the start when I was born. I mean they didnt abuse me when I was a baby. The abuse always happen when "Alcohol" is involved. Which they have drunk everytime. And the only anger they can take on is me and my brothers. So at this point. I tried my best to watch over them but only to target them instead. And I've been abused by my parents everytime they drink and when I was with them without the brothers. Which I fear them. Even when I fight back and talk back to them. Then they would send threats to me like violence or anything. When they are sober. They become nice. But when they are drunk in alcohol. They argue with me. But at this time rn. Im glad they got kicked out from my grandparents neighborhood/community. So now. I feel safe but my mind thinks I should never forgive them and forget them. They still contact us and we talk to them. But we just rather be ignoring them and upset with them. And at this point. This is the reason why my art post is slow and stuff and this is the reason why i cant find a job yet due to my parents alcohol and preventing me. And I feel afraid to share this. But I did. And this is the reason why I dont wanna drink when I turn 21. But yes, if anyone brings up about alcohol. I can deal with it because you know. Its okay. (Which some of my OCs drink but I dont mind that since it's fictional characters lol). But if there is. Mention of abuse that leads to alcohol. Then that would bring back my past.
Sorry for posting this vent. I had to let this out.
But again, if you guys mention alcohol. Im okay with it. I dont mind listening to that word. Im getting use to it.
P.S: if anyone is wondering the bruises. No. I dont have any bruises in irl. It just shows how much pain that they hunted me.